There's no escape clause to motherhood. Don't believe anyone who tells you there is. They are lying. Even if you adopt your kids out at the ripe young age of twenty four hours, you will still always be their mother. I know mothers who saw their kid for less than 1 week and who then spent a significant part of their adult life looking for them, only to find them and be stuck with them forever. If you are on the other end of the spectrum and your kids are in their late teens and you think you'll be off the hook as soon as they all leave home, there's still no getting out of it. They come home, with washing forever, and they call to ask the most ridiculous questions and they make you pay their bond. And then when they have babies, when they're bored and their husbands are sleeping on a Sunday morning at seven thirty, they bring them over to your place like you didn't just get rid of your own.
So think very carefully before you let the man you love, or even the one you don’t love so much make babies inside your fertile imagination. Babies are real and they cry and they vomit and they scream, a lot, with no good reason - well not one you can figure out after no sleep and a day in your crusted vomit pajamas holding a frantic baby. Motherhood is about endless dealings with bodily waste and unfinished sentences. No one ever told you the truth because the truth is hard to really hear especially while your hormones are busy cheering on your maternal instincts. But it's all a trick. Do not be fooled into thinking it's going to be easy, romantic, sweet, lovely, blissful or manageable. You will NOT cope, you can NOT cope, none of us could or did or will. That's one thing I really want to clear up. NOBODY is coping!
Most of all don’t believe your mother, she's just desperately hoping that grandchildren will make it all OK, make you all OK, it won't. Tell her if she wants babies she should have some of her own and that right now you like to stay asleep, past 4 in the morning and get to sleep before 11.56 at night. You also like to shower before 4 pm and to not smell of baby vomit for seven months solid.
I can go on...but like the fairies at the bottom of the garden, if you believe me, I don’t have to convince you any further and if you don’t, nothing will convince you...anything other than having a baby of your own. But just don’t say nobody told you.
OK, the real truth is that if you are reading this you either have children already, are expecting soon, or you have a really good girlfriend who loves you very much who has children already and she wants you to know the truth, because it's too late for her. Lucky for you, but for the rest of us moms, the best you can do now is manage what's up ahead. Good Luck.
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8 comments:
You could have written this 23 months ago then I wouldn't have hassled you about not warning me. Love it. xx
Yes, you were my inspiration...
Too late!!!!!
So if it's so bad, why do you have five kids?
good point (about having 5 kids). My brother in law always said he was going to buy us a BIG TV for us to put in our bedroom!!
I guess it has something to do with love, stupidity, mindless living. No of course the truth is my five kids are my life, they ground me and teach me and mostly at least when they are little, they love me back - but it's still hard.
Rebecca, as the mother of six who prefers to talk about the wonders of motherhood as well as the difficulties, I know how hard i is. I am more interested in why and how we can make it easier for mothers now in the future. A lot of our enjoyment of motherhood involves developing our skills and patience level. And allowing ourselves to love our babies, if that doesn't sound too corny.
Very twisted. It looks like your kids are going to need lots of therapy down the road.
Yes Miriam I know, I better start saving...they are probably going to ask me to pay for it !
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